Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Gardening Scriptwriter

Sunday I was gardening, mainly because it was sunny, but also because the weeds had taken advantage of my week's holiday in Norway. It looked like they had had a party, a few friends round, even though they denied it. You know the sort of thing. Cheeky little buggers! While I was yanking out a rather stubborn dandelion root a sudden thought struck me, right between the eyes, made my eyes water I can tell you. My revelation? Scriptwriting is like gardening.

In the spring your garden is a mess, weeds everywhere, with the occasional shoot of a plant trying to battle through. This is your script at its conception. You have a mess of ideas floating around in your cranium with one or two showing promise. So you weed out those bad ideas, giving the good idea room to breath and grow. Then it blooms and you have your story and your garden is looking delightful. Now you can relax and enjoy it, right?

Wrong! Those weeds come back, becoming underdeveloped characters, clunky dialogue, threatening to choke the life out of your beautiful garden. Time to weed all over again. The more you weed the more weeds you notice hiding away waiting to shoot up when your back is turned. It's no good relaxingly, you have to keep on the boil, constantly going back to the garden, pruning, weeding and turning the soil to maintain the garden the way you want it.

But it doesn't matter how many weeds you dig up, when you have visitors over they'll always spot those one or two persistent weeds you failed to find. And there's always some bastard who kicks the heads off all your daffodils on their way home from the pub!!!!!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Vacation

I'm on holiday as of tomorrow, the first proper one in two years. Oh the joy!!!

I'll see you all when I get back kiddies, behave yourselves while I'm gone.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The First Chapter

So here it is as I promised, the first chapter of my children's novel, Guardians.

The novel is about five children with elemental powers who protect the Earth from the Groonmaig, demons intent on enslaving humans and using them as food source.

Please try and remember that the following chapter is a very, very, very rough first draft, completely unedited. What you read is what I typed without it being altered...well except for the spell check, but I think that is allowed. Enjoy :-)

PROLOGUE

A bitter wind drove the rain down hard on the Haskin’s Estate, swirling it into every corner, under ledges, into sheltered walkways, drenching ever inch of concrete, glass and tarmac, leaving no place to escape the storm’s vicious onslaught. None of the residents dared to venture out of their warm flats into such weather. Even the desperate and foolish staid dry tonight.

On the roof of the tallest building the wind rattled a TV aerial, hanging loose where the holding bolt had come away from the wall, causing the metal to screech eerily, a soft cry of a wounded animal, in-between the distant claps of thunder. The wind caught a discard, weathered, piece of newspaper, flipping it into the air, forcing it into a contorted dance, fighting the rain trying to dump it into the growing puddle of water on the roof.

A clap of thunder reverberated around the estate, and then a louder, more horrendous crack, much closer, right there on the roof. But it wasn’t the TV aerial come free at last, but a slither of the blackest darkness shattering into the air a foot off the ground. A fissure had opened within the air, continuing to grow wider as a terrible, heart wrenching screech of sheer desperation ripped the air. And then a foot, scaled and green, forcibly squeezed through the tiny gap that had formed.

Gabrinal slid through the gap and fell to the floor, and lay in the puddle, bloodied, scratched, bruised, out of breath and exhausted. He had made it, escaped the Groonmaig’s prison and returned to world of man, only the second demon to achieve this. He lay on the ground letting the rain wash over him, washing away the dirt, grime and blood from his scaled and hairy body. How many centuries had it been since he had last felt rain upon his tortured skin?

Gabrinal breathed in deeply. He could smell the stench of humanity that infested this world. He licked the razor sharp fangs that protruded over his lower lip. Soon the humans would know their masters once more.

Gabrinal calmed himself, emptied his mind of all thoughts of pain and exhaustion, and finally let it free to search out his brother. It didn’t take long before he felt that familiar presence.
“I am through, brother,” pulsed Gabrinal.

“Welcome home,” the words formed in his mind, the familiar voice sweet in his memory.

“Do you have what I need?”

“I have the list of children,” the words brought a shiver of excitement to Gabrinal’s spine.

“Good, then I wish to start immediately.”

“No, brother, you must rest first, recover from your wounds. You will need your strength”

“I am eager to begin. The quicker we achieve what we have set out to do the quicker the rest of the Groonmaig will be free,” pulsed Gabrinal rather too insistent. Gabrinal knew he had overstepped the mark, maybe even angered his brother. He remained silent waiting for his brother to reply.

“Patience, brother, I need you at full strength.” Gabrinal sensed his brother’s concern.

“What is it?”

“They are here.”

Gabrinal shivered once more this time not of pleasure but of fear. He hoped he was wrong.

"They are here?”

“They are.”

The Groonmaig’s old enemy, the Guardians, were close. Of all the places Gabrinal and his brother could have broken through the veil between worlds and they had landed right where the Guardians were. Coincidence, or had the Guardians predicted they would break through her?

“Do they know we are here, brother,” asked Gabrinal fearing the answer.

“I have already fought them and survived. Better still I slew their leader.”

Gabrinal breathed easier. “They are four again?”

“They are, and I have tracked down their replacement, a boy.”

“When will he be dealt with,” Gabrinal hissed with venom.

“No harm will come to him yet.”

Gabrinal could not believe what he was hearing. Had his brother gone mad?

“You must kill him, brother.”

“I have another way.”

“But if he becomes their leader...”

“Trust me, brother, I have it all in hand. Go now and rest, we begin soon,” the voice in Gabrinal’s head said soothingly.

“Can I feed, I am hungry?”

“Only one human, brother, no more. Leave nothing. We do not want to draw attention to ourselves before our task is done. I will contact you again soon.”

Gabrinal, too tired to argue, set off to hunt for a victim, then he would find a place to lay low and recover before the real work began.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Your Choice

Finally started the children's novel after three years of planning, and as I promised I will post some of the first words here, raw an unedited. But what to post?

Basically there are two choices.

1) The first paragraph only.
2) The first chapter (not very long).

So which would you like to see? I'll leave the vote open for the rest of the week and post the most popular suggestion next week.

Vote away :-)

Monday, April 27, 2009

Fame At Last

My first Mr. Vista episode has been uploaded and you can view it HERE or HERE.

The Mr. Vista blog will also feature on BBC Radio Five Live on Tuesday morning, which makes me super happy as it'll be my episode everyone will log in and see. Ooh, the fame!!!

I like Tim's version of my script even though it's not quite how I envisioned it, and it's strange and equally interesting to see how he interpreted my words. My script is below so you can see for yourself.

FADE IN:

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

Mr. Vista plonks a Tesco’s bag on the counter top, extracts a microwave meal, reads the cover.

POV: “READY IN 2 MINUTES.”

Mr. Vista licks his lips, shoves the meal in the microwave, presses buttons.

INSERT: Progress Bar “2 minutes.”

PING

INSERT: Progress Bar “Done.”

Mr. Vista extracts the meal, sticks his fork in, lifts it out. It’s still a block of ice. Back in it goes, followed by more button pressing.

INSERT: Progress Bar “2 minutes.”

PING

INSERT: Progress Bar “Done...I think?”

Mr. Vista extracts the meal, sticks his fork in again, lifts it out. It’s still a block of ice. Mr. Vista perplexed. Back in it goes, followed by frantic button pressing.

INSERT: Progress Bar “Warp Factor Ten Mr. Sulu.”

PING

INSERT: Progress Bar “It should be done now?”

Mr. Vista extracts the meal. It’s a small charred, smoking lump.

INSERT: Progress Bar “Enjoy!”

I hope the other scripts turn out equally as well.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Birthday

So I've reached the big 40 and to be honest I don't really feel any different, except my taste in presents has turned to shit.

Normally I would know way in advance what I want for my birthday. I usually scour Amazon a month or so before for all the latest DVDs, make a list and remind people about it every couple of days or so. This year I didn't know what I wanted, nor did I have a desire for anything. Strange!

In the end I got very excited about a lawn mower and strimmer my parents bought me, and I am also planning to buy a BBQ with all the lovely cash I was given. I think middle age has hit early.

My party was organised by my lovely wife Susie and was on the theme of TV and movie characters. As you can see I came as Batman, The Dark Knight version.

However, the Batman suit had one problem, it didn't have a pee hole, so to go to the loo I had to almost take the whole thing off. I started drinking pints that night and soon realised a full bladder was going to be a problem. So I started to drink shorts. "Come on, Dom, it's only a quid extra for a double," someone said to me. I don't remember much after that.

A special thanks to Timothy 'Clackers' Clague who was the only blogger and fellow writer who managed to tear themselves away from the normal Saturday night stuff and come help me celebrate my special day. Cheers buddy :-)

Apparently I spent three hours wandering around the house after everyone had gone to bed, mumbling to myself and falling asleep, five minutes at a time, in some very odd places, even lent on the kitchen counter top at one point, so I'm told.

My head hurt really bad the next day. Roll on fifty.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Life Begins At Forty

Does it bollocks!!!!

Photos and birthday party report to follow soon.... I just have to edit the drunken photos of me first. Tough job!!!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Life Begins

Despite my best efforts, I'm surprised to find I have survived to see my fortieth birthday. No idea what happened there????

Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday Domiwomidoodles,
Happy Birthday to me.

Now pile on the praise and tell me how I don't look forty :-)

And for those of you coming to my party, I'll see you there. And to those who aren't coming... I never liked you anyway.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Pay It Forward

A year or so back I was having a conversation with a reader, discussing scripts we had read and loved. I remembered a script I reviewed on Tiggerstreet.com, a fantastic monster feature with great characters, a fast unrelenting pace, and an outstanding plot.

Let me get this straight from the start, I hate horror and monster movies. I don't understand why anyone would like watching a film where stoopid students get hacked to pieces, or some monster is on the loose and a couple who were once romantically involved have to hunt it down and save the world. In other words I find these types of films dull, boring and a waste of my time.

So it was a surprise for me to read this script and find that not only did I love it, but I wanted to see it made. So I went back through seven years of emails hoping to find an email from the writer, as luck would have it I still had his address. We got chatting and it ended up with me agreeing to help with a rewrite and to find the script a home. A year later I may well have just done that. An Australian film production company of some renown have shown an interest in the script and the writer is waiting to hear from them.

If I hadn't bothered that script might have found itself on a shelf covered in dust and ignored. I used the few contacts I have to get people to look at the script and it seems to have paid off.

I know so many people, writers especially, who are so precious over their industry contacts. Why should we be? We're writers, all with the same agenda, so why not give someone a leg up by recommending a friend's script you're really passionate about. You don't have to give out those contact's details, just forward the script. You never know this act of kindness might pay off in later years and help you get something of your own made. Of course I'm not asking you to send scripts to you contacts that you don't believe in, because that would just be silly and would do your reputation no good at all.

Come on writers if there's someone out there you admire as a writer, or even better a script you think rocks, or could rock with a little close attention, then give that person a friendly hand up the writing career ladder. Be kind, pay it forward.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Back With A Bang

Back after a week off and I did some writing last night. I felt fresh and well up for it, so I shall be cracking on again tonight.

Two of my short films have been picked up by Celtic Storm Films for shooting later this year. Jump will be the first to shoot sometime in the summer. Ooh, I'm so excited I could poop my pants...no really, I could.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Moods

I play a little online poker now and again, just for a bit of fun and beer money, and I recently brought a book on the subject. The author very interestingly talked about moods and how different ones affect your game. The basis of it was, never play in a bad mood as you won't be able to concentrate and you'll loose money. Always play when you are happy, calm and relaxed. This got me thinking.

How do our moods affect our writing? If we're writing a comedy should we only write when we're in a happy mood? Should we write horror when we're in a bad mood, and we're mad at the world or people and we want to get back at them? Would a happy mood make a comedy more funny and would a dark mood make a horror more scary?

I'm very interested to hear your thoughts on this because it's something I've never thought about before, but is perhaps something I should consider in the future.

What do you think? Does your mood change the way you write, and do you have to be in a certain mood to write a certain genre?

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Mr. Slackness

I have just realised that to enter competitions you need scripts that are a) complete and b) you're happy with. Better get to it then.

I'm also thinking of filming one of my shorts. I nearly did last year, but dropped the idea to lack of time and not really knowing what I was doing. But as everyone else seems to be making one I don't want to be the one left out. Beware, I might be calling on you for some help very soon.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Competition Pimp

I'm going to set myself a goal for the rest of the year to see how many screenwriting competitions I can enter, regardless of the cost.

How many do you think I'll manage by the 31st of December and more importantly, how many do you think I'll get placed in?

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Joy

I sent a script out to a few people a while back and I got the same feed back from them all, "Why is Alan chosen to receive his powers?" Stoopid people questioning my script :-P

But now I have the answer and have adjusted the script to answer this all important series driving question.

Blimey, writing two days in a row, it's becoming a habit.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Magic

I did some writing last night, the first this year...if you don't count the ever on going novel.

I feel faint...I might need a lie down.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Snow

I find myself slipping back into my old lazy ways, another New Year's resolution evaporated. I have my excuses of course, a trapped nerve in my back, and the snow, but I'm really just looking for things to distract me.

And what of my novel? No I haven't started writing it yet, but that's because I'm still smoothing out plot points. I've been working on this story for over two years now and I know it's good, but I want it to be spectacular. So just a little more needs to be done before I'm happy enough to start the actual writing. When I am I'll post the first few paragraphs in all their raw miss-spelt glory.

So much to do and so little time. Pull your finger out, Carver!!!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Mr. Vista

Yes, finally, he's back in his first adventure since the last one. Mr. Vista returns for series two in 'Ctrl Z'.

I was there for the filming that day and helped position the mug to get knocked from the table. I was curious to know how they were going to cut it and make the mug return to the table. Tim said it would be FX'd and I have to say I'm bloody impressed how they did it. Shame my shoes got a bit wet with tea though, but the free biscuits made up for it. Maybe I should not have stood so close when they filmed it (I was just out of shot on the left).

Can't wait until my episodes are shown.

Monday, January 12, 2009

And So 2009 Begins

This is the year I make it, where I succeed where I have failed for so long. 2009 is my year.

My episodes of Mr. Vista are coming soon, I believe they start broadcasting on the wondrous interweb sometime this week. I've also been contacted by a director interested in not one, but two of my shorts scripts... and he wants to shoot them in February.

The year has started the way it is going to finish. Nice :-)

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Novel

I've been putting it off for ages, maybe because it's a major challenge and I didn't think I was up to it before.

Well I can announce I am no longer putting it off. I'm officially writing not one but two novels this year, starting today. One children's novel and one fantasy sword and sorcery type thingy. I will of course keep you posted.

P.S. Bit concerned about Matt Smith as the new Doctor. Is he really going to be any good? I'll have to wait and see like the rest of you I guess.