Monday, June 30, 2008

Leave A Message After The Beep.

I shall be away until Thursday drinking lots of beer....err, I mean attending the Screenwriters' Festival in Cheltenham.

Laters taters!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

SWF 2008 Parts 2 & 3

Well BT managed to bugger any chance of me writing a post yesterday so here are two for the price of one.


I shall awake from an awful hangover and attempt to find my way around SWF with out vomiting and making a tit of myself.


Clean shirt and underpants for this day, as the legend that is Mr. James Moran will be gracing us with his presence. Oh dear Lordy yes!!!!! Must remember to take my copy of Severance to get him to sign. My favorite day by far :-)

Monday, June 23, 2008

SWF 2008

I'm away next week at the Screenwriters' Festival in Cheltenham. So to mark this occasion every day this week I'll be telling you what I shall be doing the same day next week. Confused? Not nearly as much as I am ;-)


I'll be setting off sometime in the afternoon to arrive at about five or six at the Cheltenham Travelodge. I'll be meeting Jason Arnopp and Piers Beckley for a few beers in the Travelodge's Harvester restaurant. I will be trying to not to get too drunk, as I want to enjoy the Tuesday.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008


This blog has at least one official fan and his name is Lee. Yay, Lee!!!!!

Thank you for email, Lee, it reminded me I have a passion for writing just when I was having a bit of a dark moment in my life. Writing is an escape and a joy, and of course bloody hard work most of the time, but it's the sense of achievement you get when you write something good that makes all that hard work worth while.

Have a nice day, people, and I hope it's one full of joy and sun.

Friday, June 13, 2008


Sheikspear meme'd me....the barstool!!!!!

Here goes.

1) ACDC - Back To Black

Classic rock. You can't get better than this.

2) Eminem & 50 Cent - You Don't Know

By far the best thing Eminem & 50 Cent have ever done.

3) Eminem - Ass Like That

The only song both my wife and I love. It makes us laugh.

4) Eminem - Cleaning Out My Closet

We all have skeletons in our closets, and I love the way Eminem loves to get things off his chest.

5) Duran Duran - Wild Boys

The song I left school to, and the basis for my first ever script idea. It was typical Eighties shit, but spawned three sequels, none written down, but all in my head. One day I might write them.

6) Bryan Adams - Summer Of 69

The year I was born and my best friend Arne Reidar Mortensen's karaoke master piece.

7) Queen - Fat Bottomed Girls

I wanted this to be the song for our first dance at the wedding reception. Susie said if it was she would divorce me. It's such a cool, fun song, you've gotta love it.

And I'm spent.....!

I'm not meming anyone else, coz I think that's cruel.


Thursday, June 05, 2008

My Epic Battle With BT Part 27 & 3/4

Bastards...utter effing bastards!!!!

My broadband went down again this week, just when I was about to kick American butt on Call Of Duty 4 on the Xbox. So the CFU didn't work and now I'm really pissed off.

Another round of calls, and more tests from my end, and this was the result....just like a thousand times before.

BT STAFF: "Well the tests are showing a major fault at our end."

PISSED OFF CUSTOMER: "Really? You do surprise me?"

BT STAFF: "The engineers have swapped you card over at the exchange, so hopefully that'll fix the problem."

PISSED OFF CUSTOMER: "Well that was kind of them to interrupt their tea-break to help little old me, but I won't be crossing my fingers."

BT STAFF: "Please call us back if you have any further trouble."

PISSED OFF CUSTOMER: "Oh, you can count on that. What's your direct number?"

BT STAFF: "Bbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!"

PISSED OFF CUSTOMER: "Hello? Hello? You fuckers!!!!!"

On the writing side of things, I've just completed another short film script and sent it off to someone I know who might be interested.

Rejection Watch: Not one this week so far, huzzah!!!!!!