Wednesday, January 31, 2007

One Too Many

"OK, just one more then." - Anon.

This post has nothing to do with writing; it's a personal post, and serious, and therefore not an easy one to write.

"You're an alcoholic, Dominic!"

I have a comeback prepared for such occasions. "I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk. Alcoholics know they have a problem." I thought it funny, but it isn't, because ironically my comeback is true.

Don't get me wrong I don't get up every morning and brush my teeth with two litres of vodka. I'm not a full blown alcoholic, I just have a problem with alcohol. Alcohol related problems come in many shapes and forms, mine is that even though I don't drink everyday, when I do drink I don't have a stop button. I'm only 12 stone and slim (ish), but yet I have an unnatural tolerance for alcohol. Where as most people are drunk on six pints I can drink twelve or more.

I may go a week or two without drinking but when I do go out I drink until I either run out of money (very rare) or I'm so drunk I want to go home to bed. I can't go into a pub and just have a quiet couple.

I used to wear my drinking exploits like a badge of honor and I now know this was wrong. Drinking non stop for fifteen hours is not clever. Drinking until you lose count of how many you've had is not impressive; nor are blackouts, two day hangovers, making your wife cry, vomiting until there's nothing left, and realising you've pissed away £150 worth of booze in one night.

So after Saturday night out doing the usual I have finally come to the conclusion that I need to quit.....forever!

Never again will I grace the bar surfaces of Stavanger, Norway, half naked and entertaining the locals with my silly beer poems. Never again will I wake up in a hedge and wonder how I got there. Never again will I spend the day after trying to find my wallet only to discover it in the freezer compartment of the fridge. Never again will I spend another night on the sofa. Nor will I receive several days of silent treatment from the wife. It's over, once and for all. The End. Full Stop!

So as a final farewell to my days of being a drunken twat here is one of my beer poems.

I love beer,
Beer is great,
If he were a bloke,
He'd be my best mate.

Adieu.

7 comments:

Olaf Legend said...

you choose wisely especial the Norway bit. When I enters the 30s I realise there is many things I used to be able to do but since cannot - Run for bus, listen to music loud and drink many pints of beer. But the dread fear of waking up with head that feel like a citizen of essex live inside it stop me from taking drink.

Again, you made good good choice. Now for the bafta!

Robin Kelly said...

Thanks for posting Dom. Recognising we need to change in the first place is the toughest thing I think. My own capacity for self-delusion is legendary. Don't forget there's lots of advice out there in words or in person as it's really common and you're not alone.

Dom Carver said...

Thank you, Robin :-)

Pillock said...

Great post.

Good news on the Norway TV project! (I read your 'screenwriter's blog' too. Well done, and good luck.

Phillip Barron said...

Good luck Dom, stick to your guns. Alcohol is one of the hardest vices to kick, not because of anything intrinsic, but because it's so widespread people don't actually view it as a problem.

It's the one of the few drugs in the world that when you tell people you're giving up, they actually ask 'why'?

Dan said...

Interesting what you say about how it was once a 'badge of honour'. That's a culture thing and one that seems to be associated heavily with our country. Maybe the new licensing laws and age-restrictions will change the way future generations view alcohol.

There's a great line in Charlie Higson's Young Bond book 'Bloodfever'. A Sardinian offers the youthful Bond a glass of wine to which Bond declines, no doubt concerned about being the right age for taking drink. The man replies: 'Nonsense, you should learn how to drink so that you know how not to get drunk. You must know when to start and when to stop. I shall give you the smallest measure of wine and you can add some water.'

It's all about teaching them young I guess.

I wish you well, Dom.

Chris (ukscriptwriter) said...

Very brave to admit such a thing.

Now you will have more time to write (I'm not sure if that is the bright side of things).

I toast you with orange juice to a long and happy life.