How Not To Be A Writer Part 1

A possibly true (ish) story.

Bob (let's call him that to protect the stupid) has been unemployed for nearly eight months, he doesn't have a girlfriend, all his friends have moved away and, even though he never thought he'd admit to this, wanking is losing its allure... basically he's bored... suicide is beginning to look like a realistic option.

But after watching Dirty Harry he has an idea. He decides to write a script, can't be that hard after all, it's just a few words on a page...yeah, piece of piss - fame and fortune await.

So Bob sits at a computer and types like a man possessed, which is partly true because he has been drinking spirits for the best part of the day, and the words pour out. Two weeks later he has a 115 page thriller. He shows his mum, she thinks it's brilliant, so he puts it in a draw and forgets about it for five years...

...to be continued.