So, looks like I'm finally shaking off this pleurisy at last. About bloody time!!!
I hate weeks like this, the sitting around feeling rough, and because of one thing or another not being able to write. Last week I was on holiday and this week I was ill, and no writing was done at all. I feel guilty that I haven't even written a single page of a script in almost a fortnight.
Last year I rewrote most of my work and this year I've worked hard writing two new scripts and entering as many competitions and initiatives as I could. This year was the big push, no excuse for laziness, no procrastination, and a real need to make my career go somewhere.
That's why I feel guilty. I keep thinking of all those hours I could have spent finally getting my agent pack together, or rewriting another script, or sending stuff out. I deserved the holiday so I don't feel so guilty about that, but this week spent ill has left me frustrated. Our first child is due in October and I know that I'll get very little done, if nothing at all, when he arrives and I wanted my career to be at least going somewhere by then.
It just makes you think about the pressure we put ourselves under as new writers, desperate to make it, pushing ourselves for years and still not getting anywhere. We are a special breed, hanging in there when other less resilient people give up and move on.
God, I fucking love being a writer.
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